DONUT 1: Why are the Mavs "losers''? ...
ESPN's Chris Broussard has evaluated the winners and losers of the NBA offseason, including the Dallas Mavericks ... who of course are tabbed "losers.'' And why?
Because they didn't get Dwight Howard? But, er, um ... wouldn't that make all 29 non-Orlando-based teams "losers''? And wouldn't that make Orlando the sole "winner''?
This isn't ESPN "picking on'' the Mavs; it's simply a most extreme example of limited and linear thinking. Broussard goes on to praise have-not teams for signing the same quality of non-stars that Dallas signed ... but maybe because Dallas' bar is higher, the non-star signings are less valued?
More on this concept from Chuck Perry as he rockets through the Mavs' summer moves and ponders summer winners and losers.
DONUT 2: Dez and his mother ...
We will never know who pulled what bra strap and we will never know if "striking someone in the face with a cap'' is a truly violent act or just a re-enactment of an old Laurel & Hardy bit.
But this, I think, we can know about Dez Bryant's mother Angela attempting to drop the charges of family violence against her Cowboys-employee son:
Put the lad in a courtroom and maybe in jail and mama's rent doesn't get paid. Put the lad in a courtroom and maybe in jail and his leeches don't get paid.
Did Dez put his hands on his mother? It appears so. Might this all go away if Angela (and Dez' "support group'') opens its hands and allows cash to rest comfortable in them? It appears so.
I know this, though: If the DA is ever breathing down my neck because he thinks I hit Mama Fish, will you please remind me to not hire a lawyer who immediately responds to the charge by taking a scheduled family vacation out of the country?
That leaves the Cowboys back in charge, and having to weigh the value of the player vs. the risk of latitude given. it famously worked with Michael Irvin ... before it ceased working.
“You certainly couldn’t have 53 players ultimately on your team that give the kind of consideration and time that you do to Dez,” Jerry Jones says. “But you say, ‘Well, a number-one draft pick and an outstanding player, why not?’ I agree with that. Why not?”
The simplest-yet-snarkiest "why not'': You can't score touchdowns from inside Lew Sterrett.
“I have seen … players that (required) a little heavier lifting than other players help you win championships,” Jones says. “High maintenance. But I have been a part of that and have seen it work and not compromise the franchise, not compromise the NFL.
Donnie Nelson likes to tell me that one of the reasons the Mavs run so smoothly is that he doesn't spend a lot of time getting 3 a.m. phone calls from jailed Mavericks. If you're a Cowboys fan, you hope Jerry understands what his franchise is juggling here, and that Dez gets his hands on some footballs and off his mama's bra straps.
One more thing: Jerry just now revealed to 105.3 The Fan why he hasn't personally visited with Dez on the subject: "Because I'm too pissed to talk to him.''
DONUT 3: For the skillionth time ...
No. Dirk Nowitzki still isn't married. Not in Kenya with a ring, not in Sweden with a king, not in Dallas with a fling.
At least I don't think so.
I am told that the goings-on in Kenya represent a "pre-wedding wedding'' ... and that it might be recognized as "official'' in that country but is viewed by Dirk and Jessica as an important ceremony but not THE ceremony.
Again, though, I promise you: When The UberMan weds his UberWoman, you will be among the first 20,000 people to know.
DONUT 4: Who needs tickets? ...
Our guy Ryan at MavCowTickets knows the ins and outs of the Mavs, the Rangers, the Cowboys, the arenas, the opponents ... the works! For the most personal service in the business -- with no stupid add-on costs -- check him out and tell him The Fish sent you!
DONUT 5: Thanks, Esparza's! ...
The gang at Esparza's in Grapevine loves that it's Cowboys season and the Cowboys love Esparza's, too! Let me put it this way: You never know who you'll see out on Esparza's famous front porch! Thanks for your sponsorship, Esparza's!
DONUT 6: In case you missed it ...
Nobody does Mavs schedule reactions better than our man Mark Followill. Check 'em out!
DONUT 7: Collison can match Lin? ...
It is conceivable? Take it from a Mavs-lovin' DB.com contributor who covered the Pacers (and Collison) last year. It's a Premium piece that says, yeah, it's conceivable that Collison can match Lin -- as long as we don't count t-shirt sales.
DONUT 8: Follow Fish and the Mavs on Twitter ...
DONUT 9: Jerry's gonna "kick some Giants asses''? ...
The Dallas Cowboys opened their training camp with a series of outrageous pronouncements from owner Jerry Jones, who spoke to the media at large on Sunday about wanting the franchise to return to the “glory hole’’ and of “closing the window on ‘closing the window,’ a reference to his belief that this generation of Cowboys may be running out of championship time.
But those statements may have been topped by something Jones said on Monday, as the team actually began workouts, when he punctuated a circus-like ceremony proceeding the club’s afternoon workout by issuing an invitation to the Cowboys’ California-based fans.
“Y’all should come visit Cowboys Stadium,’’ Jones announced, “and watch us kick the Giants’ asses.’’
This offseason, Giants players have taken a series of verbal shots at Dallas – and as the Super Bowl champs, maybe they are the victor deserving of the spoils. In Jones’ case, his comments were issued well before the sports media had assembled on the team’s training camp field. This was a “civic event,’’ complete with speeches from Oxnard dignitaries, a performance from the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, the National Anthem, and four skydivers landing on the 500-yard line carrying American flags and Cowboys banners.
I don't know how the Giants will respond to Jerry's remarks. But I did ask Jerry Jr. for thoughts on his dad's bold/loony statements.
"You know that book, 'S--- My Dad Says,?' asks Jerry Jr. "I'm the one who should've written that book.''
DONUT 10: Food for thought ...
Don't take this as an insult to "Mr. Fourth Quarter,'' but maybe Memphis needs a better promotional staff: Last year in the fourth quarter, our old buddy Jet scored 313 pts -- and of course, was a viral sensation for doing that sort of thing over the years.
What did O.J. Mayo do last year in fourth quarters? He scored 321.
DONUT 11: Want more Mavs? ...
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By the way, we take that same focus that we provide on the Mavs here on DB.com and apply it to the Mavs and the Cowboys on 105.3 The Fan. Listen live here for some Fish on Football and for breaking Mavs stuff, too ... throughout today and every day ... and we'll take you inside the teams in every possible way!
DONUT 12: The Final Word ...
In explaining the switch from 39-year-old Jason Kidd to 24-year-old Darren Collison at point guard, Mark Cuban says, "You can't just keep doing the ol' 'okie-doke' forever, right?''
Well, right ... except lest we forget, the Mavs offered Kidd (and assumed he'd accepted) a three-year contract. Meaning Dallas was fully prepared to do the "ol' okie-doke'' for at least another year and maybe for three more.
I mean, even if Kidd and Collison were both on this year's roster, which of them do you think would be okie-doking his way into the starting lineup?